Childhood Innocence

Have you ever just listened to your children? Have you ever sat around just watching them in their play? S and I love to do both. Our 2 and 4 yo say and do so many things that can only be described as sweet and innocent. Those same things, however, can be so humbling to a parent. It often leaves me wishing I still had some of that innocence.
For example, JR is learning so much lately, and not just that, but he is really putting concepts together in his little head. Recently, we have been learning about how God owns all things, and allows us to take care of things for Him. So the other day we had driven over to look at a house, and S was on the phone. JR asked who Daddy was talking to, and I replied that he was talking to the lady who owned the house. JR immediately said, "No, Mommy, GOD owns the house, so who is Daddy talking to?" I stood corrected.
On a more serious note, an area that really hits home for me lately is racial issues. Now that we are officially a transracial family, I am learning by leaps and bounds how society views race. Young children, of course, are totally unaware of racial issues, until a parent teaches them otherwise. Children in a transracial family are often referred to as "colorblind" because they see their siblings all the same, despite the color of their skin. However, I am learning that the kids are, in fact, well aware of color, they just don't view it with the stigmas that adults do. I got to thinking about this the other night when I was informing the kids that they would be having a new babysitter come watch them. JR asked, "What color is she?" Funny thing is, it totally didn't matter what color she was, he was simply curious. He is at the age where he likes to match colors and see who looks like who--JR has skin color like mommy, daddy, and M, A has blue eyes like JR and daddy, and N has brown eyes like mommy. Color is simply a means to help find an identity. Oh, if only the rest of society could have a bit of this innocence as well! What a wonderful place this world would be.
The reason I started contemplating these things tonight was actually something M did. As you know I am a Type 1 diabetic. I wear an insulin pump rather than taking shots. The pump is small pager-sized computer that holds and meters the insulin out as required throughout the day. It holds a little syringe full of insulin, which is connected to a long tube, which is connected to an infusion "site"--the part that actually sticks into my skin. That is held by tape. I have to change this set up every 3 days or so.

Last night was time to change. M is fascinated by this process and has been for some while. She doesn't grasp the concept of a disease at this point, but has no doubt reached the age where she wants to be like Mommy. In imitation of me, she will often say things, "May I have juice?..my sugar's low!" And if she is nearby when I change out my infusion set, she will often grab the old one and play with it while I finish up (don't worry, there is no needle attached!).

Last night was actually the first time she actually made the site stick to her belly. She was so proud to look just like Mommy. I just found such irony in her innocence. Here I have a disease I would give almost anything to not have. I pray frequently that God's protective hand would stay on my children, and that none of them would develop diabetes and have to go through years of needles, food calculations, finger sticks, and so on. Yet, my little girl, in all her innocence, just wants to be like Mommy, no matter what the cost.

It really humbles me and reinforces the hugeness of the responsibility Christ has given me as a mother. Everything I do will be imitated by our children, as it is only natural for them to want to be like their parents. They become mirror images in their behavior, and it is imperative that we always strive to model a good example, that they may mature according to the instruction of the Lord.

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