For those of you who don't know our story, there were many factors that brought us to the adoption of little A. One major factor was a simple comment made by someone I highly respect for her Christian character and her walk with Christ. She said, "if we as Christians are going to be against abortion, then we must be willing to personally offer an alternative." God's Word specifically instructs us to "...look after orphans and widows in their distress..." (James 1:27). While I am no theologian, and I do realize that this verse is really written to elders in the church, I have come to interpret the term "orphans" to include any child, born or unborn, living in an orphanage in a 3rd world country or in a foster home in the U.S., or an unborn baby whose mother decided (for any reason) that she cannot raise her baby. Furthermore, I figure since many "elders" today are not doing many of the jobs God assigned them, somebody has to. Additonally, I have come to view the term "widows" in this verse as including not only women whose husbands have died, but any woman, young or old, who is in some kind of distress. The simple fact is there are countless children, both unborn and born, around the world who are in need of a stable, loving home, and there are countless women out there who are struggling. I truly don't know how Biblically solid this view and interpretation is. However, as Christians, it is our job to help others in whatever way God leads us to. S and I feel strongly that God has allowed both positive and negative situations in our lives to work together in such a way that we have the desire, ability, and resources to open our homes to young children and infants.
So why are we so passionate about adopting? Well, first and foremost, God has called us to do so. Contrary to our modern, worldly-view society, we firmly believe"sons are a heritage from the Lord, children are a reward from Him." (Psalm 127:3) Contrary to popular views regarding abortion, God "created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."(Psalm 139:13)
While there is a need worldwide, our passion is for domestic (U.S.) adoption. Unfortunately, there is no reliable source with updated national information, but, based on what is available, here are a few statistics:
- According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, in 1995, there were over 10 million women in the U.S. who had considered adoption. Of those 10 million, only 1.6 million had ever taken steps toward an adoption. However, only 437,000 women had ever adopted. EVER! That's just 1.3 percent of the original 10 million!
- Compare that to the fact that around 100,000-200,000 domestic children, age newborn-18 need adopting each year. A large number of these children wind up in the state foster care system. Obviously, it is a myth that there are no children available for adoption here in the U.S.
- Furthermore, in some parts of the country, about 50% of newborns placed for adoption are white, with the other 50% consisting of every other race or mixture of races. In other parts of the country, about 50% are African-American, with the other 50% consisting of every other race or mixture of races.
- Based on my research and experience, about 70-80% of people applying to adopt are caucasion, seeking caucasion infants. VERY few people are of other races, or are open to any race and older ages. Sadly, there is such a need for adoptive parents for African-American specifically, that many agencies and organizations offer grants and discounts for this race in order to help lower-income people afford adoption.
- Obviously, when you do the numbers, they show a shortage of adoptive parents and an abundance of races other than caucasion, as well as an abundance of children older than the infant stage.
- It is a sad state of affairs we are in. In fact, with the current economic "crisis," recent numbers are showing a drastic increase in children of all ages being placed for adoption. Biological parents are hurting, they are scared, and they may desire something different or "better" for their children. They want help. Unfortunately, worldly lies have influenced many to believe that abortion is a quick solution to a "problem." In fact, between 1 and 2 MILLION abortions are performed every year. And I won't even begin to get into the statistics of the poor women who wind up suffering emotionally and physically after an abortion.
- We have also learned that, contrary to popular belief, many women who abort truly feel there is no other option and later have many regrets, while most women who place their babies for adoption truly love their babies. However, some women have a desire to finish school, some feel incapable of parenting, some have no support system in place (which any parent needs!), some may have dreams for their child that they feel they cannot provide, some may feel a threat to their life or welfare if they keep the baby, some may already have a child or children and fear they can't afford or handle another, some may be pregnant by rape, realizing that the baby is an innocent victim as well, and some may be battling an addiction that they just can't overcome enough to parent. Think of it this way: no matter how messed up her life or priorities may seem to an outsider, she loved her baby enough to give it life! Furthermore, many women love their babies so much that they don't want the child to be caught in the red tape of the state social system, and therefore choose to use a private individual adoption, private agency, or lawyer, where, in most cases today, the biological mother can actually choose the people/family she desires to parent her baby.
I would like to leave you with a youtube video slide show I found of a frequent type of domestic newborn adoption called open or semi-open (the birthmom and adoptive parents have met and may keep in touch. Communication varies based on all parties' desires. This is similiar to what we have with A's birthmom). Listen closely to the words. Oh, and you may want a box of tissues handy! If the direct video doesn't work, use the link under it.