Well, we are officially matched! Although we finished our part of the homestudy about 3 weeks ago, we have been waiting on the social worker and his agency to complete the reports. I just got word that he submitted it to our adoption agency THIS weekend, and yesterday, I got the call that we are matched!
For those of you who know our story from last time, this one sounds quite different (we know the sex for one thing!). To protect privacy, I must limit the info I post here, but I can tell you we are expecting an African-American baby boy, due in just 5 weeks! AAAGH! 5 weeks! Little A will barely be 10 months old! I am going to have 2 babies on my hands! I NEVER thought I would see the day when I would have to have 2 cribs, but it looks like I am going to have to start furniture shopping and rearranging rooms. JR has already picked a name--a name he really wanted to name A, but we decided against because it is too similar to my name. Now, here we are again, he is dead set on that name for the new baby. We really don't want it, but he and M both are almost begging. We'll have to think on that one.
As always, adoption is a bittersweet thing. While we are thrilled to be "expecting" a new little one joining our family, we also know that a young girl will soon be losing this same precious bundle of joy. That is the part I dread--when she actually relinquishes him to our care. Until you have been there, hugged that birthmother, and seen her tears, you have no idea how emotionally intense that moment is. There are just no words. Have you ever wondered what you would say to a mother who is GIVING you her just-born child? I don't care what race, social class, education level, or background a birthmother has, or how adamantly she may deny any attachment, she is still a mother who has carried a baby for 9 months. She has loved it enough not to abort or abandon, and that says a lot! And although we all move on with our lives, we will also always share a common bond through that little baby.
So now, the planning starts. I have to come up with sitters who will be available at a moment's notice. This time we have the added difficulty of having to travel out of state. I have to research plane travel for the month of February, and figure out who offers the best prices for last minute travel. I have to research rental car agencies. I also have to pack bags and have them on standby. When we get the call that the mother is labor, we have to boogie! My understanding is she wants us to fly across the country, and make it to the hospital in time to meet us before she gives birth. We'll see if that happens! This is not her first birth, so labor could go quickly. We are hoping S will be able to fly with me for the first couple of days, but after that, he will have to return, and I will be on my own. We also have to deal with something called ICPC this time. It is basically formal paperwork that grants us permission to take the baby out of one state and into another for the purposes of adoption. The good thing is its easy on our part. We just have to wait for the call that we are approved. The bad thing is that it can take anywhere from a few hours to several weeks to get that approval. So I have no idea how long I will be gone, how long I have to plan for sitters, or how long I will be away from my family. The average is typically 5-7 days, so we are hoping we will fall in that average. Of course, this small factor adds a whole load of complication. Take for instance, that I will have a days-old baby. I will still have to eat, possibly pick up items from the store, and eventually go through an airport and flight with this little one. I am not looking forward to the unsolicited advice that is apparently very common in this situation--where people who haven't a clue will quickly criticize you for exposing such a young baby to so many people. I have been thoroughly forewarned to not tell such strangers the baby's age (saying something like "young" instead), and that it will help prevent awkward situations. I tell you, anyone who thinks adoption is the easy way to grow a family needs to think again!!
Oh, it is exciting though! It will be a new experience for us in so many ways. Ok, I will quit rambling now, as I am sure you have better things to be doing. But, I do covet your prayers. If you have the opportunity, please pray for everyone involved--the expectant mother who is about to go through loss, the baby and his health and safety, the adoption agency, counselors, and lawyers who make this all work, and of course, our family, as we go through that first week or two, and as we then return home and adapt to life as a family of 6. WOW!
1 year ago