1.17.2009

Defending the "fatherless"

Baby #4 is seeming more real every day. In the last 10 days or so, I have re-arranged the kids' bedrooms, cleaned up my infant carseat, packed the infant diaper bag with basic essentials, researched plane tickets and schedules so I know who to call, created my packing and "to do" list for when the call actually comes, and found a crib, mattress, and bedding set. Other military wives just gave us the crib and mattress, and the bedding set I found at a children's consignment store for about $40. I also found a little universal stroller frame that I can just clip the infant seat into. That way, should I need a stroller while stuck waiting on ICPC, I will have one without the bulk of a standard stroller.

The set is actually pretty gender neutral, with burgundy, hunter green, navy, tan, and denim colors, though this pic makes it look very blue. I wanted gender neutral just in case....you never know what the future might hold.


The car seat and diaper bag are just sitting, waiting for the call!

S and I spent the morning in a Red Cross CPR review class. It was required for our first adoption, and although we haven't been asked for it this go around, we decided that, just in case it had been overlooked in our file, we would go ahead and get current to avoid potential issues later. While the class itself was what we expected, one of the other participants was our first experience dealing with outright racism. We have been warned about it, so were somewhat prepared fortunately, but it still caught us off guard. She happened to be an African-American woman, and when she found out (just through the course of conversation) that A was biracial and our new son would be full AA, she was obviously not pleased. She began asking questions like, "how are you going to see a child of color the same as your bio kids?" and "why do actually seek out AA's to adopt?" and so on. The questions themselves were not that bad, but her tone and the barrage of questions (some accusing and confrontational) made it obvious we were not dealing with an pro-adoption person. We calmly answered her questions, explained first that we did not actively seek to adopt ANY race, but rather, were open to the child God wanted us to have. We further explained that we were concerned initially about comparisons (mostly by others), discrimination, and learning about hair and skin care, and we had many discussions with friends of other ethnic backgrounds for their opinions and advice. We also prayed--HARD--about it. Although in a typical situation, it would likely be best to just politely excuse ourselves, we were kind of stuck in this situation, as we had several hours of class time left. So, as the conversation progressed, we patiently answered each of her concerns with our limited knowledge and statistics. We also mentioned the fact that, at one point (during our match with A), we had been offered 2 healthy babies who were laying in hospital cribs because no one wanted them due to their skin color. I told her that, no matter what a child's skin color and risk of discrimination, EVERY child deserved a loving family. We would (and will) do what we can to help them through future situations and teach them how to handle issues that arise in the future. She did finally agree that a loving, Godly family was the most important thing for a child. I don't know if we finally gained her confidence or if she just gave up. Honestly, we never got to find out, as, a short while later, she became very irritated with our instructor over another issue and abruptly walked out of the class. I can only pray that God will touch and soften her heart. Overall, she seemed like a very angry, miserable woman, and I hope that this experience will at least help her see things in a more positive light. We learned a few other things about her during our conversation that possibly shed some light on why she had this attitude, but those are past issues that only God can help her deal with. I pray she will seek Him and let Him help her work through those issues.

Nonetheless, although we have experienced some subtle forms, this blatant form, and may very well experience more discrimination, prejudices, and racism as we continue in our journey, trusting and allowing God to work in our lives, we are confident that we are doing as God has instructed us to do. We will continue to seek God's guidance through our quiet times with Him, through prayer, and through the calling we feel God is distinctly laying on our hearts to care for the "fatherless."


"All men will hate you because of Me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved."(Matt. 10:22)

1 comment:

Kristen said...

D and S, you are both blessings to me as I take part in your family's journey through this blog. Your faithfulness and willingness to follow the Lord are such great testimonies to Him. May He continue to bless you with more of Himself as you walk in obedience. Love you guys! A is precious!!!